GladRags Gab

Deanna Duke, who writes the blog, Crunchy Chicken, is being honored by her friends this month. This amazing woman started Goods 4 Girls and gave all of us who were floundering around, not knowing how to help, a great direction.  Goods 4 Girls collects cloth pads and sends them to school girls in Africa.  It's an amazing and wildly successful organization that GladRags is proud to be working with through our G4G Kit.  Her blog, Crunchy Chicken, is full of great info and inspiration and makes an entertaining read. She is committed to a better world and has the guts to speak her mind.

Deanna is a woman who can really turn thought into action. A Crunchy Tribute tells you how you can take some action too.  Our action for Deanna this month is a donation of four G4G Kits and we are putting the G4G Kit on 10% discount so you can help too!

Thanks Deanna for all your good work!

-Brenda 

Did you ever have the dream that you’re pregnant? That very real dream, the one you have before you’ve even had sex, but it feels so real that you don’t notice that important fact? I remember that dream, more so I remember waking up from that dream—the cold wash of pure relief. (Do men have a version of this dream?)

After I started having sex, there was the late period. The agonizingly late period, accompanied by panic and then (finally!) the warm wash of pure relief, maybe even tears, as the blood made its entrance.

Then there was a long stretch of a more mature handle on birth control that left me with just the monthly rhythm, surfing through the cycle and the secrets of its language.

And then, like a force of nature, it was time to get pregnant and we did. Not having a cycle every month was quickly and thoroughly overlooked in the face of such an event as waiting for a baby. Because I nursed my daughter for almost two years, my period didn’t come back for at least a year after she was born. But when it did, well, the Chinese call it “gui lai” and it was a real event—a marker of my changing body, changing back.

I had another child and again promptly forgot about menstruating or what it was like to not menstruate. When my “gui lai” came this time, also nearly a year after my son was born, my body sang with it. With two children, my body well knew the reality, not just the fearful dream, of what this meant. I could get pregnant!

And since that fateful day of singing fertility, it has been a game of “maybe/maybe not.” Will we do it all again? Every day brings a different answer.

People will be all over the board, having vastly different experiences of fertility and what their menstrual cycle had meant to them; for me, it surprises me that I don’t fear pregnancy now that I know what it means to go truly sleepless and compromised by the demands of caring for children every day. But in fact, it’s the opposite.

Now every month there is still the waiting, the speculating, sometimes the counting of days, the recounting of possible “slip-ups,” and yet, when at last the question is answered, the blood is here, I am not pregnant, there is no wash of relief anymore. Just a little pit in the stomach, an almost inaudible sigh. Maybe it’s not surprising at all. For me, knowing, really knowing, what it is to get pregnant and have children, it’s not the magic of the menstrual cycle I feel (although that’s there too), it’s the magic of babies that I’ve got my eye on.

by Michelle A.L. Singer 

Saturday was a sad day for an alternative menstrual product user.  I found myself unexpectedly bleeding… shows you how "in tune" I've been with my body as of late… and had to resort to using the two pathetic little OB tampons I had hanging out in my bag from years past… shows you how often I clean out my bag. When those quickly ran out, I resorted to the plastic pads my grandmother had sitting in her bathroom drawer.  I don't enjoy pads much… apologies to the 'rags… and so bemoaned the fact that I didn't keep my Keeper with me when traveling.  duh.  I eventually made my way to the local grocery store to get something that I wouldn't have to adhere to my underwear.  Alas, more OB tampons it was.  I look forward to the day when alternative menstrual products are not so alternative and I can find a Keeper in a Chicago suburbian Jewel.

- An email sent by Diana's great friend Ellen - teacher, friend, wife and person extraordinaire

The snowflakes that fell on January 24, 2008 were so small they looked like glitter when the sun caught them-these are the details that come into sharp focus on the day that someone is born.

Because of the amazing digital technology of telephones these days, I know that at 8:50 a.m. of this day, I got the call-"Today's the day." Immediately my eyes smarted (today's the day!), and I braced myself-I was "on call" now. I was the "big sister doula," the person that takes care of the older child while their sibling is being born. This would be the third time I would get to witness a birth, not just through my own eyes but also through the eyes of a three year old.

At 11:21 a.m., I received the second phone call, lasting 18 seconds, telling me it was time to pick Astrid (the big sister) up for school and come home with her in order to be there for the birth of her younger sister, at their home. In this role, my job is to be firmly in the world of the child as their family transforms, expands. I take this role seriously, to protect the integrity of this major event and also because children respond very well to undivided attention. For this birth, however, I found myself drawn toward the sounds of this child making her way into the world again and again. What follows is the dual reality I found myself in: Astrid's and mine as we ate lunch, waited (not for very long!), and listened to the deep involuntary sounds of labor.

Astrid: "Kitty just ran out of there! She said, ‘Too much ruckus!'  Silly Kitty (laugh) Too much ruckus! (laugh) That one sounded like a horse. (pause) That one a dog. (pause) Oh, that one's a cow."

Me: Those are the most honest, amazing, deep, beautiful sounds I had ever heard. These are not sounds you will ever hear in any other situation. God, what a privilege to hear them. I'm so lucky. I can't believe so many people never have this experience. This is the story of going to the deepest places of the body to find the will to bear birth. "Do you want to go in and see the birth?"

Astrid:  "No, I want to go meet the baby after she is born. What is this? Can I have this yogurt? Mmmmm. I like this yogurt."

Me: "Mmmm, looks good. Your mom's doing a good job in there," (trying not to cry). "Are we going to make some necklaces later?"

Astrid: "Yes! You know what? My teachers know how to sing ‘Oh my darlin'!"

Me: "They do! That's great. Oh! Your Mom is calling us!"

We left our food and went into the living room at the very moment that Astrid's baby sister was lifted into her mother's arms by her father who had just caught her, with the help of the two midwives. I can't say what it was like for Astrid, but for me walking into the room was like walking into a brick wall emotion. My eyes and chest and throat crumpled immediately, and as I looked around, I saw the feeling mirrored perfectly in everyone else's face in the room. Whoosh!-the child slides in to the world-the father's face! the mother's face! my face, crumpled in tears.

Me: I will never forget the look on his (the dad's) face. What a moment. Look at that baby. Were mine ever that small?

Astrid: "Look at her small hand! She's so cute! (pause)  I'm still quite a bit hungry."

We went directly back to the kitchen and sat down. She ate her sandwich, wanted some mustard. She wanted to know what else I brought in my bag for her. I pulled out a light stick. We opened it up and cracked it into pink glowing life. Here, I'm a little ashamed to admit, is when she went back to her mother, holding her newborn infant in the first five minutes of her life, and said, "Mom! Look! I have a glow stick!" Her mother, of course, said, "Oh! That's great!" And Astrid came back with me to see what else we could do.

I am proud to report that I have witnessed five births now (okay, two were my own) and always come away from them wondering at the privilege of it. Here we go on about menstruation, but this, this person whooshing into the world, and the shocking love of it, that's what it, all these moon cycles, is all actually about. Whether we choose to flip one of those hundreds of cycles into a being or not, that's what they are about.

- Michelle A.L. Singer 

Michelle Singer is a freelance journalist currently living and working in Montpelier, Vermont. Former GladRags employee and menstrual enthusiast, she is also a great lover of books, hiking, and wrestling with the continual confusion of feminism. She lives in a multi-generational home with all her most important fans-her parents, husband and two truly adorable children.

I was at a book group the other night with delightful, intelligent, mothers of small children who have an unspoken agreement that although we choose a book every time, we're really getting together for wine and conversation. In fact, our discussions in recent meetings have barely grazed the subject of the book whose premise we were gathered under.

At our last meeting, ongoing struggles of life: marriage, children, and wellness (sleep, sex, and prescriptions) inevitably consumed our conversation. When we lingered on mental health and I put forward my belief that all issues of health stem from a root cause (oftentimes emotional or spiritual), one woman offered her menstrual cycle as an example of something that is strictly biological.

For a few days every month, she said, her personality changes-she "hates everyone" and wishes she could just be by herself for those days. Since this happens only during PMS, it is clearly just a hormonal shift, she concluded.

This group of women doesn't happen to know about my dear love for the menstrual cycle and as they continued to talk in turn about menstruation, I, for once, just listened. The verdict was unanimous-thumbs down-and when the hormonal pill that now advertises that women can simply "skip" menstruation came up, the idea was welcomed.
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"Nothing in our society-with the exception of violence and fear-has been more effective in keeping women in their place than the degradation of the menstrual cycle." -Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup

"On approach of a woman in this state, must will become sour, seeds which are touched by her become sterile, grass withers away, garden plants are parched up, and the fruit will fall from the tree beneath which she sits." -Pliny, 636 A.D.

"Without menstruation and the sciences of measurement women developed from watching first the moon and then the stars, there would be no clocks or watches, no astronomers, no mathematicians or physicists, no astronauts, none of the architecture and engineering which have been born from exact measurement and proportion." -Blood, Bread, and Roses by Judy Grahn

"How might your life have been different for you if, on your first menstrual day, your mother had given you a bouquet of flowers and taken you to lunch, and then the two of you had gone to meet your father at the jeweler, where your ears were pierced…and then you went, for the very first time, to the Women's Lodge, to learn the wisdom of the women? How might your life be different?" -Circle of Stones by Judith Duerk

"Suppose that society is a lie, and the period is a moment of truth which will not sustain lies." -The Wise Wound by Penelope Shuttle & Peter Redgrove

-Michelle

Michelle Singer is a freelance journalist currently living and working in Montpelier, Vermont. Former GladRags employee and menstrual enthusiast, she is also a great lover of books, hiking, and wrestling with the continual confusion of feminism. She lives in a multi-generational home with all her most important fans-her parents, husband and two truly adorable children.  

There have been many discussions on the internet recently surrounding a campaign of Always pads entitled, "Have a Happy Period".

Right off the bat, what do these words mean to you?

Are you excited by the idea that your period could be a happier thing?  Are you mad that someone is telling you to have a happy period when it couldn't possibly be happy, what with cramps and irritability and all?  Are you suspect of a marketing campaign?  Are you inspired by a forward thinking corporation?  Are you indifferent? - gosh I hope not!

Well, many women are pretty upset with this campaign.  Apparently, Always prints this slogan on the plastic wrapping of their pads so women can read the words as they change their pads.  Women are appalled at the gall of a company that tries to say that a woman's period could be a happy thing.  There is even a letter circulating among blogs that a woman apparently wrote to the company in disgust over the slogan.

Something we like about GladRags is that they not only help the environment, are great for women's health and save women money, but they also often help to improve a woman's perspective on her period.  The comfort of an all-cotton pad and the act of washing and caring for GladRags put women more in touch with their bodies in a healthy way.  We have written in the past about PMS and how we regret how it always has to be such a stigmatized thing - women are overly emotional and unreasonable during these days and therefore crazy.  We simply do not agree with that.  We have talked about how menstruation does not have to be a curse.  It can be a time for quiet, for reflection, a time to appreciate the gifts of menstruation.  In essence, we too at GladRags hope all women are able to have a happy period.

It is a shame that many women cannot take this approach to their period, but I think that many of these women are taking issue with Always because they don't feel like Always really understands them.  The company is simplifying what a woman experiences during her days of menstruating into urges for chocolate, being angry at anyone she comes into contact with, and feeling ugly.  They're riding all of the cliches, embracing them really, instead of reinventing them.

In order for women to be lead into a better perspective on their periods, I say, let's reinvent!  I used to be frustrated at how reflective I was and emotional during my PMS days.  Now, I appreciate the insights that I come to when I am literally forced into reflection by my body.  I take time out to absorb those insights and perhaps to make changes in my life based off of my new information.

Menstruation is a powerful and nuanced experience.  I hope that more and more women are able to understand and respect that rather than resent it.  And I hope that a marketing campaign doesn't push women who could benefit from a reinvention into resenting their periods even more.

I'm venturing into very personal territory here, bloggers, so hold onto your hats. However, in the spirit of universal experience, I'm wondering something…

Is it just me, or are the delicate tissues of my vulva even more delicate after having given birth two times? Since having my kids and getting my cycle back (although this didn't happen right away) a day or two into bleeding my vulva begins to feel rather…raw. What is this about?

I will admit, in all my years of frankness about menstruation, I still find myself shy to talk about my vulva (especially on the internet). But I do believe that that this is one of the few forums I might be able to venture this subject. Also, many people do experience vulvodynia, which simply means vulvar pain, much like I am describing, but if I am correct, pain caused by vulvodynia is more constant while mine seems to be associated with bleeding. There is also contact dermatitis, which is also irritation of the vulva, but usually because of contact with soaps, detergents, deodorants, etc. Again, my irritation seems linked to blood, when I use internal products, still wearing my skivvies and clothes, I'm fine.

Could my blood be irritating my skin, and why would it do that? Is the tissue of my vulva more sensitive now after giving birth two times?

I hope to hear from any readers with insights, and also to open the door for people who do experience vulvar pain and find relief in natural menstrual products like the ones found here. It's not something we get the chance to talk about but I'm sure we have a lot of experiences to share. Let's talk, we've got to take care of our girls!

Michelle

Michelle Singer is a freelance journalist currently living and working in Montpelier, Vermont. Former GladRags employee and menstrual enthusiast, she is also a great lover of books, hiking, and wrestling with the continual confusion of feminism. She lives in a multi-generational home with all her most important fans-her parents, husband and two truly adorable children.  

For the past two years, many individuals and organizations have contacted GladRags regarding a largely publicized issue afflicting many communities in sub-Saharan Africa.  For many reasons, young girls are unable to and do not want to attend school during the days they are menstruating.  These days can add up to a 10-20 percent absenteeism rate throughout a school year (http://allafrica.com/stories/200710120286.html).  Clearly, this absenteeism leads to missing a great amount of information being taught and is generally disruptive to a girl's scholastic experience.

The many reasons that girls face this obstacle include lack of sanitized water, restroom facilities, underwear, and, the missing product for which GladRags is contacted, menstrual pads.  Also, the topic of menstruation is often taboo in many of these cultures, which makes it difficult for girls to openly arrive at a community solution to this life condition.  Another important obstacle that many news outlets and western organizations fail to consider when contemplating this issue is an absence of a waste disposal system to deal with the disposable pads that have been proposed as a solution and what the creation of such a system would mean.

So, given these many hurdles to overcome, what is the answer?
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To bleed or not to bleed,-that seems to be the question:-
Whether ‘tis nobler to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous moods, cramps, and PMS,
Or to take arms against our bodies with a sea of drugs,
And by opposing ourselves, end it?-To stop,-to cease,-
No more; and by a pill to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural fluxuations
That flesh is heir to,-‘tis culturally
Devoutly to be wish'd. To stop,-to cease;-
To sleep! Perchance to dream:-ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of nothingness what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal cycle,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes worth living of so long life.

This famous speech from Shakespeare's "Hamlet" was frighteningly easy to adapt to menstruation. I was inspired by Jodi's "No More Menstruation" blog that talks about the new oral contraceptive that is taken continually, with no break for bleeding. The "To be or not to be" speech jumped right into my head, and the parallel with "To bleed or not to bleed" was too perfect. I looked up the actual speech in an old copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare that I happen to have lying around. You can just as easily google it, though I like the way the older version has all the dashes. Anyway, you can see for yourself how little had to be changed. I'm kind of stunned actually how beautifully the point is made…

Michelle
 
Michelle Singer is a freelance journalist currently living and working in Montpelier, Vermont. Former GladRags employee and menstrual enthusiast, she is also a great lover of books, hiking, and wrestling with the continual confusion of feminism. She lives in a multi-generational home with all her most important fans–her parents, husband and two truly adorable children.