The oddball who likes her period
I was at a book group the other night with delightful, intelligent, mothers of small children who have an unspoken agreement that although we choose a book every time, we're really getting together for wine and conversation. In fact, our discussions in recent meetings have barely grazed the subject of the book whose premise we were gathered under.
At our last meeting, ongoing struggles of life: marriage, children, and wellness (sleep, sex, and prescriptions) inevitably consumed our conversation. When we lingered on mental health and I put forward my belief that all issues of health stem from a root cause (oftentimes emotional or spiritual), one woman offered her menstrual cycle as an example of something that is strictly biological.
For a few days every month, she said, her personality changes-she "hates everyone" and wishes she could just be by herself for those days. Since this happens only during PMS, it is clearly just a hormonal shift, she concluded.
This group of women doesn't happen to know about my dear love for the menstrual cycle and as they continued to talk in turn about menstruation, I, for once, just listened. The verdict was unanimous-thumbs down-and when the hormonal pill that now advertises that women can simply "skip" menstruation came up, the idea was welcomed.
One woman tentatively said, "Yeah, but I feel kind of bad. Shouldn't we…you know embrace our womanhood or something?" But, no, it was good riddance to old annoying Aunt Flo.
I enjoyed getting to hear the unreserved opinions of these women, clearly quite representative of a majority of women in this culture. But I found myself in a familiar lonely position: the oddball who likes her period. As clear as it is to most women that menstruating is at best a minor nuisance, at worst a curse, it's equally clear to me the inherent value and power of it. I'm hoping to find a way to offer this perspective and not lose people. On this night, I didn't even try. It's not always time. It's a constant struggle in the business of periods-expressing a positive, even empowering view of menstruation without totally confounding people. I've always admired GladRags for the way it balances this delicate issue. It's positive without being cheesy or dippy. This can be difficult indeed.
Michelle Singer is a freelance journalist currently living and working in Montpelier, Vermont. Former GladRags employee and menstrual enthusiast, she is also a great lover of books, hiking, and wrestling with the continual confusion of feminism. She lives in a multi-generational home with all her most important fans-her parents, husband and two truly adorable children.
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January 8th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Thank you for your thoughts…it’s nice to know there are still women on this planet who actually enjoy their periods and don’t cringe at it…what could be more natural?…I look at what I affectionately call ‘in the red’ as a time of reflection and a time to especially pamper myself…why would I want to take a pill to stop that?…we women are lunar which means we’re cyclical which means we’re in a continuous and hopefully harmonious ebb and flow of life in the female form…I love that!…I love that I’m a woman!…I love that I’m feminine and I love my periods!…I must be nuts right?!…then that means we’re both nuts!…so here’s to all the nutty women out there who love their periods!
January 10th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
How SAD! I don’t necessarily love my period, but I can honestly say that using cloth pads has definitely made a difference in my attitude—especially with all the bright and fun colors I get to choose from. I firmly believe that if more women and girls knew about ALL of their choices instead of plastic covered gel bags or toxic insertable absorbant sticks, there would not be such a need for pharmaceutical suppression of something so natural and necessary. I guess I must be crazy too :O
January 14th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Hi, I would just like to add that for some women who may have extreame pain with periods from things like endometriosis, fibroids, PCOS, or other diseases, (me for example) having less periods per year would be fantastic. It’s not because I feel “Aunt Flo” or whatever you want to call it is annoying, it’s that painful periods have cost me lost time from work, missed social engagements, and a loss of self-worth when people who don’t understand what it is really like minimize the trauma of coping with such diseases.
I do have to say that using cloth pads are much more comfortable during that time, and I wish I had learned about this option when I was a kid. I didn’t even think about or realize that not every woman in the world uses disposable products, and when my great aunt told me and my girl cousins about how it was “back in her day” we all exclaimed “ewww!” Too bad. I wish I would have started using cloth pads a long time ago. I still get the cramps but at least I don’t have that itchy and sweaty (ewww!) plastic down there!
January 26th, 2008 at 1:22 am
How inspiring! My heart goes out to those who have truly painful feminine issues, how great you have a place to go to get such soothing products to deal with the inevitable.
I have to say I am new here and have not yet tried the rags, though I have admired them from afar for a very long while. My budget has not allowed and won’t for another month or so, but I fully intend on jumping in with both feet and treating myself… Not just for me. I have 3 daughters. The first is fast approaching her time and I want her to be way more in tune than I ever was. This has been a journey for me. 4 kids and 2 homebirths later, I now know not to accept the status quo. I have learned that I don’t fit into a single specific category. I am a non church-going believer in Christ Jesus, I home school, cloth diaper, cook according to the ancient ways, drive an SUV, will spank a child’s bottom on occasion, stay at home and drive to softball practice. I have been known to hug a tree and then cut it down for fire wood. I believe God created this earth for us to use, care for and to populate. Responsibility is a fine line. Respect is even finer. I love reading all these notes girls. I hope you keep teaching me through your testimonies. My ears are wide open… Blessings…
February 14th, 2008 at 5:39 am
I agree with Angela. There are many women out there that have excruciatingly painful periods due to endometriosis, myself included. These period suppressing pills are a godsend and have given me my life back. So please, speak for yourself.